TIME

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Everyone’s favorite hatewatch has just hit theaters, thereby expanding our Fifty Shades of Grey mocking opportunities from the bestselling series to a set of blockbuster films. (Because there will be more, friends. Oh, yes, there will be.)

Everyone’s got a theory on why Fifty Shades is so popular, especially among middle-aged women and in the South, where for some reason people find it hilarious that Fifty Shades has caught on like a house afire. It’s been dismissed as “mommy porn” and the soft (and wildly inaccurate) BDSM has been credited as the main reason the series has become such a terrifyingly runaway success.

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But I don’t think that’s actually why the series blew up, and I’m not the only one who has this theory: It’s all about those $$$, baby.

But let’s backtrack a little to Twilight, the inspiration for the fanfic that eventually became

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